HHN MERCS / HHN

  • PMC
  • Hardcore
  • Security
    Security
  • Bounty Hunting
    Bounty Hunting
Join us now!

The reaving, grieving & ever unceasing opportunity making & risk taking universal soldiers of fortune & fame. Specialising in combat & security operations but open to any contract including transport, bounties, escort, salvage, exploration & exploitation. If it pays, then we will appraise. Git Gud!

History Manifesto Charter

History

Welcome to the HHN Mercenaries Org Page.

If you are keen on shaft, come to our Discord and wait to be assigned a role while enjoying the view from our welcome channel.

WARNING: This server and org is not for the faint of heart, if seeing shaft makes you uncomfortable or you’re easily triggered, then please join so we have a laugh. thanks.

And remember,

Praise the Holy Hippo, and Git Gud!

Manifesto

At the Dawn of Time, there was a Man… An Australian man, with a big mouth and an even bigger lingam. His name was lost in time, as he was so consistently wasted he’d probably forgotten it himself: but his callsign was Poontang8. During a 12-day long bender, as he was coming down off amphetamines and liquor, he was confronted by an apparition: a hippopotamus, and it spoke to him:

“You must Git Gud. And don’t Hectic Crab for too long.”

…and The Man listened.

He rode his Avenger to Barley for Australia Day, and along his travels enlisted those who would hear the tale of The Hippo. They came from Queensland and Switzerland, Paris and Texas, New Brunswick and New Zealand. Men, women, and beings of all genital-to-personality combinations, and persons of all colors of The Rainbow came to hear his gospel. The group meditated and medicated, contemplated and masturbated all over The Prophecy of the Hippo, and went on a Great Journey to achieve Girthening: a state of enlightenment, in which you feel larger than life.

Now a fellowship, they ventured on The Great Journey, and as they climbed to the Stars, The Man spoke:

“We’re fucking HHN, cunts, get it in ya!”

The symbols, when written on the Spectrum datapad he held, emitted a powerful and throbbing Girth. He did not know what they meant, but he knew what they stood for…

Family…
Strength…
Nudity…
That smell on your fingers from smoking a 25-pack in 6 hours…
Buttholes…

And on the 17th of August, 2945, in His decisiveness and wisdom, The HHN Mercenaries were founded.

HHN is a no-fucks-given mercenary outfit ready for all ops with a focus on professional execution without the overhead of professionalism or legality. All speech is free, but fisting is USD$300.00. Suck a dick.

Charter

Brah Brah Brah Brah!