5 members
Mommy Milkers / MOMMY
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Resources -
Smuggling
Discord: https://discord.gg/txQ623eC54
Born from a bad bar joke on GrimHEX, Mommy Milkers is the most ridiculous name in the ’verse—and somehow the most feared. They smuggle under “Vitamin D,” hijack freighters with transponders reading MILKTRUK69, and yell “Mommy’s home, baby!”
History
2947 – The Bar Joke Heard Around GrimHEX
A drunk freelancer, trying to one-up a rival gang, yells: “Mommy Milkers runs this joint!”
The insult flops… but a handful of smugglers find it hilarious and form a crew under the name.
First recorded crime: stealing a vending machine full of protein shakes and labeling it “contraband dairy.”
2948 – From Meme to Menace
The crew begins smuggling Banu tonics under the codename Vitamin D.
Infamous hijacking of a Caterpillar transport—renamed MILKTRUK69 on all public channels.
Local security reports describe them as “annoyingly persistent, oddly themed.”
2949 – The Dairy Queen Incident
Mommy Milkers steals an 890 Jump from Lorville and repaints it with cow spots, renaming it the S.S. Dairy Queen.
They host a “milk party” on board, charging entry fees to both criminals and unsuspecting tourists.
UEE begins officially tracking the syndicate after multiple complaints labeled simply: “MILK.”
2950 – Got Milk? Got Guns.
Coordinated raid on a mining convoy. Comms hijacked with the broadcast: “Got Milk?”
First major firefight with local security. Several ships destroyed, but the syndicate escapes intact.
Rival gangs start mocking victims of Mommy Milkers, giving the group free notoriety.
2951 – Rise of the Reputation
Mommy Milkers becomes a household joke name, but their smuggling network expands across Stanton.
Syndicate motto adopted: “We nourish the ’verse… one rack at a time.”
First appearance of their signature battle cry: “Mommy’s home, baby!”
2952 – Present Day
Syndicate is recognized as a mid-level power player in Stanton’s underworld.
Known for humiliating enemies as much as hurting them.
UEE reports refuse to print their name in full—official documents refer to them as “MMS.”
Manifesto
We are Mommy Milkers — the name you can’t say with a straight face, but the one you’ll never forget. While other syndicates posture with edgy titles and grim insignias, we thrive in the absurd. Our power is not just in our ships or our weapons — it’s in the embarrassment you feel when explaining to your friends that Mommy Milkers destroyed your fleet.
Our Creed
We Nourish the ’Verse
Every haul, every heist, every hijack — we provide. Sometimes it’s contraband, sometimes it’s chaos, but it always flows straight from Mommy.
Humiliation is the Ultimate Weapon
Anyone can blow up a ship. It takes true power to make your enemies lose both their cargo and their dignity. We do both.
Milk Before Mercy
No deal, no truce, no firefight is complete until our mark has been made. If you see MILKTRUK69 on the scanner, pray.
Laughter is Stronger Than Fear
Fear fades. Shame lasts forever. We don’t just want your credits — we want the galaxy to laugh at you.
Our Enemies
The UEE, for trying to censor our name into “MMS.”
Rival gangs who think a serious name makes them dangerous.
Lactose intolerance.
Our Promise
We will smuggle, raid, and meme our way into history. We will paint the stars with udders, decals, and bad puns. And when the galaxy thinks it can ignore us, we will shout across the comms:
“Mommy’s home, baby!”
Charter
Article I – Name & Identity
This organization shall be known as the Mommy Milkers Syndicate (hereafter: MMS). Any attempt to abbreviate, censor, or rename this Syndicate shall be met with swift ridicule and possible boarding actions.
Article II – Purpose
The Syndicate exists to:
Smuggle goods (legal, illegal, and suspiciously dairy-themed).
Humiliate rivals in both combat and reputation.
Provide members with profit, protection, and an endless supply of milk-related puns.
Article III – Membership
Eligibility: Any pilot, regardless of ship class, background, or calcium intake.
Initiation Rite: Must survive a “Milk Run” — flying contraband in a ship renamed something embarrassing (e.g., Udder Destruction).
Duties of Members:
Carry out operations in the name of Mommy.
Shout “Mommy’s home, baby!” during raids.
Never take themselves too seriously.
Article IV – Leadership
The Big Mommy – Supreme leader, final word in Syndicate operations.
The Dairy Council – Senior lieutenants who oversee smuggling routes, raids, and meme production.
Carton Commanders – Mid-rank officers tasked with organizing crews and ensuring morale (and milk supply) stays high.
The Freshly Squeezed – New recruits. Easily replaceable, often disposable, always hilarious.
Article V – Code of Conduct
All raids must contain at least one milk joke.
Rival syndicates shall be mocked, not just destroyed.
Ships lost in Syndicate service are honored, provided they were renamed something embarrassing first.
Members must never, under any circumstance, admit lactose intolerance.
Article VI – Motto
“We nourish the ’verse, one rack at a time.”
Article VII – Dissolution
Should the Syndicate ever collapse, all surviving members are required to graffiti the words MOMMY WAS HERE on the nearest UEE structure before fleeing.
