History

Galactic Recovery, Acquisition, Vehicles & Yields (GRAVY) — Organization History

You ever hear about a company so bad at what they do that they accidentally became good at it?
Yeah. That’s GRAVY.

GRAVY — which stands for Galactic Recovery, Acquisition, Vehicles & Yields (but mostly stands for “God Really Ain’t Verifying Y’all”) — started when a bunch of broke miners, salvagers, and “entrepreneurs” (you know the type) decided the best way to get rich was to pick up whatever junk was floating around and call it “industrial salvage.”

First week, they found a wrecked cargo ship. Full of ore! Jackpot, right?
Nah. Turns out it was full of lawsuits, unpaid docking fees, and one very confused space cow.
Nobody got rich, but everybody got hepatitis.
That’s how GRAVY learned their first lesson: If it’s floating in space, there’s a reason nobody claimed it.

But did that stop them?
Nope.

—-

The “Strategic Expansion” Period (a.k.a. Running From Their Problems)

After a few “misunderstandings” involving stolen cargo (that they technically found first, so it’s basically salvage, right?) and a small incident with a mining station that blew up “on its own,” GRAVY decided to expand.
By “expand,” we mean they grabbed every idiot with a mining laser, a broken tractor beam, and absolutely no sense of self-preservation.

They even tried diplomacy once.
Tried to set up a trade agreement with a “small independent government.”
Turns out, that “government” was six dudes and a pitbull running scams out of a stolen Cutlass.
The pitbull was the smart one.

During this period, GRAVY racked up the following accomplishments:

19 ships lost to “navigational misjudgments” (translation: followed a drunk guy’s star map)
7 mining ops that forgot you need fuel to get back up from a gravity well
4 salvage ops that mistook active pirate ships for derelicts (the pirates were very understanding after taking all their stuff)

Somehow, despite all this, the brand survived.
Probably because nobody else wanted the name.

—-

Today

Today, GRAVY operates across multiple systems, specializing in mining, salvage, freight hauling, refueling, and search-and-recovery operations.
We have proudly built a reputation for reliability — not because we’re particularly good at what we do, but because most of the competition has exploded, imploded, or been arrested.

We don’t promise perfection.
We don’t promise speed.
We promise that if you need something recovered, moved, repaired, or refueled…

GRAVY will eventually get the job done.
Probably.

Mining it. Moving it. Makin’ it GRAVY.

Manifesto

The GRAVY Manifesto

Man, you ever been so broke you thought picking up trash in space was a good idea?
That’s GRAVY.

Galactic Recovery, Acquisition, Vehicles & Yields — or as we call it around here, “God Really Ain’t Verifying Y’all” — was founded by a group of broke, stubborn, half-smart idiots who figured,
“Hey, floating junk gotta be worth something, right?”

Wrong.
First ship they found? Full of overdue bills, expired food, and a raccoon with a taste for human ankles.
Also, somehow — and to this day, no one’s explained how —
half the crew caught hepatitis, two caught syphilis, and one guy caught feelings for the raccoon.
We don’t judge.
We just added “mandatory vaccinations” to the onboarding checklist.

Still sold the ship for scrap though. Profit, baby.

—-

Who We Are

We ain’t the Navy.
We ain’t the UEE.
We’re the people who show up when your fancy ship blows a gasket 3 million klicks from anywhere.
We don’t wear medals — we wear duct tape and bad decisions.

We mine the rocks.
We haul the junk.
We patch the ships.
We shoot back if we have to — not because we’re good at it, but because we’re bad at dying.

We ain’t here to save the galaxy.
We’re just here to keep it duct-taped together long enough to get paid.

—-

We Believe In:

Gravity is optional. Profits are mandatory.
“Temporary repairs” are just regular repairs nobody checked twice.
Cargo before comfort. Always.
Sometimes you need a gun more than a wrench.
Survival beats glory every damn time.

—-

How We Operate

We don’t have a chain of command.
We got a clothesline of barely sober volunteers arguing about who screwed up first.
Best idea wins. Worst idea becomes the backup plan.

If it’s floating, we recover it.
If it’s broken, we duct tape it.
If it’s dangerous, we send the intern.

And if anybody shoots at our freight?
We ain’t gonna call it “combat.”
We call it “aggressive problem-solving.”

—-

Play How You Want

You wanna mine? Cool.
You wanna haul junk? Beautiful.
You wanna shoot pirates? Good, we need somebody who can actually aim.
You wanna salvage wrecks so busted even the rats left? Welcome aboard.

If you can survive, adapt, swear creatively under pressure, and maybe pull a crate out of a burning wreck without getting all your parts vaporized —
then you’re one of us.

—-

“Mining it. Moving it. Makin’ it GRAVY.”
Messy? Yeah.
Profitable? Hell yeah.
Legendary? Working on it.

Charter

GRAVY Charter

Article I — Purpose

Galactic Recovery, Acquisition, Vehicles & Yields (GRAVY) exists because someone has to haul the wreckage, patch the leaks, tow the stranded, and mine the rocks nobody else wants.
We’re not heroes.
We’re not soldiers.
We’re the ones who look at a broken freighter, a leaking tanker, or a busted mining rig and think, “Yeah, we can fix that. Probably.”

If you’re here for glory, medals, or parade floats — you took the wrong jump point.
If you’re here to work, hustle, and maybe make a few bad life choices profitable — welcome to GRAVY.

—-

Article II — Membership

Membership is open to anyone who understands the following:

Space doesn’t care about your feelings.
Wreckage is just opportunity with bad timing.
“Underqualified” is a compliment around here.
If it moves, mine it. If it floats, haul it. If it leaks, patch it. If it fights, shoot it — preferably in that order.

If you can work hard, think fast, survive worse, and laugh at all of it later, you’ll fit right in.

—-

Article III — Behavior

GRAVY members are expected to act like professionals… or at least convincingly fake it.

Don’t crash the ship unless you’re prepared to give a really good explanation.
Don’t steal from the crew. (Stealing from pirates is technically team-building.)
Respect clients. Or confuse them into paying more. Either works.
Solve problems first. Argue about blame later.
Handle internal disputes like adults: rock-paper-scissors, highest card, or loudest voice.

Remember: If you can’t be right, at least be useful.

—-

Article IV — Command Structure

GRAVY leadership is based on one principle:
Whoever knows what they’re doing gets listened to.

Formal ranks exist but only matter when people actually pay attention.
Leadership qualities include:

Keeping the ship moving.
Keeping the cargo intact.
Yelling “Don’t touch that!” just before someone touches that.

Chain of command is recommended, but common sense is mandatory.

—-

Article V — Operations

Our sacred operational doctrines:

If it’s valuable, haul it.
If it’s broken, patch it.
If it’s dangerous, weigh the payday against the hospital bill.

We specialize in:

Mining: Blow up the rock. Sell the shiny parts.
Salvage: Find it, fix it, flip it.
Freight Hauling: Move it fast. Move it cheap. Hope it doesn’t explode.
Refueling: Deliver the juice. Charge extra if they’re panicking.
Rescue: Save lives when we can. Save the cargo when we can’t. Save ourselves always.

Priority order:
1. Survive.
2. Profit.
3. Brag about it later.

—-

Article VI — Core Values

At GRAVY, we believe:

Duct tape is a lifestyle.
Experience is the stuff you get right after you needed it.
Friends before fortune — unless the fortune’s really big, then we negotiate.
Smart beats strong. Lucky beats both.
Every bad decision is just another campfire story waiting to happen.

Our motto:

“Mining it. Moving it. Makin’ it GRAVY.”

If you’ve ever patched a ship with scrap metal and a lie,
if you’ve ever dragged a busted rig out of a gravity well on pure spite,
if you’ve ever looked at a bad situation and said, “Eh, could be worse” —
then congratulations: you’re one of us.

Galactic Recovery, Acquisition, Vehicles & Yields / GRAVY